Yakima teen mom finds strength from within

By LAURA AGUILERA-FLEMMING
UNLEASHED STAFF

Jennifer Kerney was 17, a senior at Eisenhower High School when she learned she was expecting twins.

Kerney was afraid and didn’t know what to do. She worried about how people would react. She also worried about how to tell her parents.

Now, more than a year and a half later, she says, “You can find a lot of strength in yourself and surprise yourself with what you’re capable of doing.”

Kerney is the mother of two 1-year-olds. She lives with her parents, who are helping her raise her daughters. And she says she isn’t sure what she would do without the help.

“My mom taught me to be a mom,” says Kerney, now a student at Yakima Valley Community College.

She’s no longer dating the twins’ father, but he sees them from time to time. When she’s at school, she leaves her daughters at day care. After school, she picks them up and cares for them until her parents get home from work. She changes their diapers, makes up their bottles, feeds them.

And she’s not alone. According to The National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, or NCPTP, three out of 10 Americans get pregnant before the age of 20. And eight out of 10 of the fathers of their children aren’t married to the mothers. On average they pay less than $800 a year for child support.

In Yakima County, the birth rate for teenagers is twice the state’s average, according to the state Department of Social and Health Services. Statewide, there were 31 births for every 1,000 teens aged 15 to 19, according to the latest available statistics.

“The best way to prevent teenagers from getting pregnant is education,” says Gina Popovic, director of public affairs for Planned Parenthood of Central Washington. “Parents need to understand that there are ways to learn about how to talk to their children about sex.”

According to the NCPTP, almost 50 percent of teenagers have never considered how pregnancy would affect their lives, and 47 percent of them say their parents have the most influence on their decisions about sex.

But, almost nine out of 10 parents agree that when it comes to talking about sex, they often don’t know what to say, how to say it, or when to start.

“I was shocked, scared and fearful when I found out Jennifer was pregnant,” says her mother, Cindy Kerney.

So was her daughter. Jennifer Kerney had gone to the doctor for a regular check-up, never imagining that she could be pregnant.

Then she had a choice to make: terminate the pregnancy, give up the children for adoption, or to raise the babies.

“You can’t do what other people want you to do,” she says. “You have to do what’s right for you.”

According to Yakima adoption specialist Mary Pleger, “Not to decide is to decide.

“Teenagers in general are not able to project into the future and find it difficult to look past a cute baby that will love them,” she says. “There is a fantasy about the happy ever after.

“Teenagers need to find solutions to their problems instead of letting things happen and having to go through stressful situations over and over again,” Pleger says.

Jennifer Kerney’s parents help her in many ways. She says both of them have taught her how to be a good parent. She says she feels fortunate to have parents that support her.

“Life doesn’t always happen the way you plan it, but as a family you need to support and love each other,” her mom says.

Her advice to other parents whose teenagers become pregnant is to keep in mind that “Everyone is hurt and shocked in the beginning, but they need our support more than they ever did. You need to keep loving and supporting them.”

Before she became a mother, Jennifer Kerney says she wasn’t sure about her dreams or goals. Now, they are clear; she wants to graduate from college, have a successful career, raise her girls and be happy.

“It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. You have to put your children first and you have to sacrifice a lot,” she says. “Some days I feel like it’s too hard, but I get through it, and it’s worth it.”